Tao Te Ching – Chapter 13
In Chapter Thirteen, Laozi shifts his gaze from sensory desires to a deeper question: Why do we live so wearily? He observes a universal human phenomenon — "favor and disgrace both cause alarm." Whether favored or disgraced, people are thrown into panic. Laozi says the root cause is that we care too much about "ourselves," taking the "self" too seriously. This chapter is Laozi's most profound exploration of the "self" and "letting go," delving into how we face external judgments and how we handle the relationship between self and the world.
I. Original Text with Pinyin
宠辱若惊，贵大患若身。
何谓宠辱若惊？宠为下，得之若惊，失之若惊，是谓宠辱若惊。
何谓贵大患若身？吾所以有大患者，为吾有身，及吾无身，吾有何患？
故贵以身为天下，若可寄天下；爱以身为天下，若可托天下。
II. Interpretation
Laozi says "favor is inferior" — the one who receives favor is actually in a lower position. When your boss praises you, you are overjoyed; when your boss criticizes you, you are devastated. You have handed over the power to evaluate yourself to others, and your heart never truly belongs to you.
Many people live wearily because they take themselves too seriously. Much anxiety and worry stems from excessive "self-focus." Try letting go of some pride and attachment, face setbacks with a "no-self" mindset, and you will find that many so-called "great calamities" are actually self-inflicted. Your heart will thus gain immense freedom and peace.
Laozi's point is that the way one cares for "oneself" and the way one cares for "the world" are not the same kind of "caring." If a person only cares about himself, that is attachment. But if he channels that same intensity of care toward the people of the world, cherishing them as he cherishes himself — then he becomes someone worthy of entrusting the world to.
The same applies to us ordinary people: a person who only cares about himself has a narrow perspective. But a person who redirects that self-concern toward others and toward doing things well expands his vision. He may not care about his own gains and losses, but he cares deeply about whether others are doing well and whether things are done right. Who wouldn't want to follow such a person?
III. Modern Relevance
Chapter Thirteen is Laozi's most profound analysis of the "self." In today's age of social media, where everyone cares deeply about "what others think of me," this chapter's wisdom is especially precious.
"Favor and Disgrace Cause Alarm" — The Trap of External Judgment
When your social media post gets no likes, do you feel a bit disappointed? When others' lives seem better than yours, do you feel a bit anxious? A compliment makes you happy for half a day; a criticism makes you upset for a whole day. Isn't this precisely Laozi's "favor and disgrace causing alarm"? We hand over our emotions to likes, comments, and others' approval. Laozi gently reminds us: "Favor is inferior." When you give others the power to evaluate you, you are forever in a lower position, forever passive. Try practicing "non-alarm" — when praised, don't be overly elated; when criticized, don't be enraged. Don't let others' judgments control your emotions — your world will become much more stable.
"No Self, No Calamity" — The Wisdom of Transcending the Self
The root of life's great troubles lies in taking this "body" too seriously. "Body" here does not only mean the physical body, but also the self-centered desires for fame, status, and face. Laozi's concept of "no self" does not mean destroying the body, but attaining a state of "self-forgetting." When a person can let go of excessive self-attachment, external praise and blame cannot harm him, and he naturally becomes free from calamity.
"Valuing the World as the Body" — The Ideal Leader's Realm
This is the conclusion of the chapter. What kind of person is capable of governing the world? Not those who seek power for personal glory and wealth, but those who extend their self-care to others, cherishing all people as they cherish themselves. Only those who have transcended personal gain and loss and broken through the limitations of the "small self" possess the vision and virtue to govern.
In Chapter Thirteen, Laozi uses the phrase "favor and disgrace cause alarm" to precisely describe our sensitivity and vulnerability in relationships. He says: the reason we are so easily hurt is that we care too much about the "self." When you learn to take the "self" a little less seriously — not taking others' evaluations too seriously, not dwelling on "whether I am valued" — you can live with more openness and ease. True strength is not being liked by everyone, but being unaffected by anyone's judgment. Let go of that tense "self," and you will gain a much wider world.
